SassyBlonde

There are always rules when you travel on tour, spoken or unspoken, and the most important one to remember are the ones learned from your colleagues' behavior on the road. After all, context clues make the story, so here are some things we needed to remember this time:

1. You must have long hair to play in the cello section. This is non-negotiable.
2. When talking to yourself in rehearsal, you must speak in a foreign language, preferably one that nobody understands, including yourself. Use of your outside voice is highly encouraged.
3. Don't ask, no one will explain why anyway.
4. Breakfast is better after 9:15. (See rule No. 3)
5. THRS: That's how rumors start. Just keep that in mind.
6. Talking about it always makes it better.
7. Keeping your eyes open usually helps, but not always. For example, when dizzy from food poisoning: yes. When in the men's dressing room: NO. Oh GOD NO.
8. Never practice anything you're going to perform in the concert while warming up or on rehearsal breaks. Play your favorite concerto or aria or quartet instead. Every night. Fortissimo. Or sing it, for even better effect.
9. FUCK ART.
10. When considering the quality of your performance, dinner, accommodations, or anything else that matters, remember "it starts from S." (said in a Russian accent.)
11. If you have the melody, by God, SLOW DOWN. Don't stay at the same tempo, that's not expressive enough.
12. No discussing of the rules on the bus in front of a manager.
13. Remember, there's only one James Bond, and his name is Sean Correry. (Yes, that's the proper Chinese phonetic spelling.)