Want a really great blast from the past? Check out this list of toys that, according to Fark.com, "would be causing non-stop lawsuits in the 00s with injuries to the world's current frail group of obese precious snowflakes."
*laugh snort*
Sister Sassy and I survived at least three of these as far as I can remember: we had a Sit N' Spin and our own respective Big Wheels and backpedal-brake bikes.
More than one awesome family anecdote revolves around toys of this nature-- sis was reminding me today about a really hilarious story, told by my dad, about my fearless ride down a hill and in a beeline right toward some gnarly traffic on my Big Wheel. (I think that was the start of my bad karma with bikes, evidenced by the backpedal-brake bike that broke my leg in the first grade and the road bike that rid me of my two front teeth in college.)
The comments on that entry also bring up a couple of other contenders, too-- we never had lawn darts (I mean seriously-- what kind of pansy-ass kid in Alabama in the 80s had those? We made our own bows and arrows from scratch-- Jarts were for amateurs), but we did have a Slip N' Slide, and seriously there's nothing as crappy as grass burn, and the metal staples were sheer hell when you got a good run going. At one point we actually resorted to sliding down the slimy hill of the concrete culvert drainage ditch in our jean cutoffs because it hurt less. Tough little shits, us.
George would call it natural selection.
What were your favorite dangerous toys as a kid??
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Comments (4)
I was disheartened that they made the Fisher Price "Little People" bigger for kids that liked to choke on things. I, for one, surely never put the damned things in my mouth. If you're still putting random stuff in your mouth, you obviously aren't ready for the concept of "this is a car, and this is a person, and this is a dog", and you're not going to learn it by being handed said object by a parent who is clueless as to what stage of development you're at.
Besides it doesn't only turn our course of evolution backwards (and indirectly get more Republicans into office) -- it makes the new toys incompatible with my old toys!!!
Posted by Keith Handy | June 25, 2008 8:11 AM
Posted on June 25, 2008 08:11
We had one of those machines where you could make your own little plastic toy soldiers and cowboys and stuff. Basically, you had these metal molds into which you placed a bullet of plastic then pushed a hot, metal device into to melt the plastic and fill the mold. The tip of that thing was the cause of many hilarious burn incidents until my mother threw it out.
Posted by Solonor | June 25, 2008 12:41 PM
Posted on June 25, 2008 12:41
The sit-n-spin is linked to the brain damage I suffer now (but it gave such a great legal high); the Entertech guns were just plain cool; and the Big Wheel led to my second childhood hospitalization. Don't blame the machine, though; I had about 12 childhood trips to the hospital. I ain't that smart.
I was always fascinated by them, but wasn't lucky enough to have most of these toys--which is probably good, since I would have chunked a jart in some kid's head. Only the Big Wheel was in my possession. I had to squeeze in all my dangerous play when I visited friends. Those lucky bastards. They got those cool dangerous toys AND they lived.
Posted by frankenberry | June 26, 2008 7:29 AM
Posted on June 26, 2008 07:29
You've seen my parents' driveway. I used to ride my Big Wheel down that driveway BEFORE it was paved. Same for the bike. I'll have to check out the list later.
Posted by Steven | June 26, 2008 12:58 PM
Posted on June 26, 2008 12:58