Just had to share with you all The Rules as drafted by my friend Mel for this year's tour:
These were shared with us tonight in a a dramatic reading at Chez Mel and Lexi, and were thoroughly enjoyed by everyone.
- If you happen to find yourself in Dover, Delaware staying at the Budget Inn...Lowe's next door has antimicrobial Febreze.
- Always have Febreze. Better yet, use it. Bus funk is strongly discouraged.
- If you have to hork a loogie, please be respectful and spit into a trash can rather than the floor. We are not in China anymore.
- Always, always wear panties. Maybe the other girls don't want to see your balding vajayjay.
- If you are supposed to be on a bus at 2:00 after being dropped off at the largest mall in the universe, please eat at the slowest restaurant. Really, just take your time. It's not like anyone sacrificed coffee and a good pee to be back on time.
- The new GPS in the van is really only for decoration. It is not to be actually used for directions.
- All hail Colonel Sanders!
- The nicotine club meets regularly right outside the bus door. Since the orchestra cannot afford smoke machines and pyro on stage, it's a nice treat for us to walk through several times a day.
- The bus toilet really is reserved for 1 only. Unless you're Russian.
- Dinner will be served promptly at 12:45 am.
Comments (2)
i don't get some of those, but i love #4 and the use of 'balding vajayjay.' hahaha. very nice, how much?
Posted by the.muse | December 4, 2007 10:58 AM
Posted on December 4, 2007 10:58
I get all of them. Sounds like a run-of-the-mill band trip to me. Though I dont' recall ever seeing #4 on a high-school band trip... And #3 reminded me of Chris Hodges, the scourge of drinking fountains. Sorry to bring him up.
Posted by Mike | December 4, 2007 11:32 AM
Posted on December 4, 2007 11:32