SassyBlonde

At present, the death toll stands at way over 400. The action was swift, decisive, and brutal in its intensity, and all that remains is to execute the remaining prisoners.

That's right, folks, the ants are back. We came down this morning to load the car (at 5:30 in the morning, natch) and found the little invaders had returned to scout the premises. D sprayed down the car and we loaded in the stuff after about twenty minutes , and we started off for home. That was when the boogers mounted the second wave and came pouring out of the arm rest, under the mats, and through the foot rests. It was like a nightmare-- D was killing any moving thing he could see while I tried to keep the car on the road between swatting at the ones trying to bite my feet. We managed to make our way to the next exit, which fortunately featured a 24-hour Wal-Mart, and re-upped on insecticide and Windex, and had at those nasty little bugs.

If you ever have an ant invasion in your car, here are my tips for a counter-assault:

• Spray the bugs on inner surfaces with Windex to kill the existing ants. It's not toxic for you to handle but will kill the little buggers outright and not damage your cloth upholstery (obviously don't use colored Windex for light upholstery or you'll be living with a blue sheen on those seats)
• Wipe doorjambs and seals with a bleach or cleaner-soaked cloth to remove trails so they don't come back. I can't stress this enough, people... learn from my mistake.
• Spray door wells and seals with some form of indoor/outdoor insecticide to kill the little boogers and prevent them from re-entering. Spray anywhere where they might re-enter, like the openings for parking brakes, hood latches, or pedals. Do NOT spray anywhere where you might put your hands. (On-the-road hamburgers and ant poison don't mix)
• Keep a small bottle of Windex in the car with you so that if you hit a bump and they pour out of some crevice you can strike first.

The most amazing thing? Nine hours of 72 mile-per-hour travel and there are still ants crawling out onto the bumper to peruse the selection of piffed bugs at rest stops. Holy crap people.

All right, time to get back in the car and get my ass home. (I'm posting this from my favorite on-the-road coffee joint, Mill Mountain Coffee. Nummy.)