SassyBlonde

D.C. drivers are nothing but self-indulgent strutting teenage boys, I swear.

Every time I commute to work I'm struck by the dangerously self-important nature of D.C./Baltimore drivers-- you know exactly the type I'm talking about. They're determined to get where they're going as fast as possible and will go to whatever lengths necessary to get behind, in front of, or around you. This includes merging in front of or behind you with mere inches to spare (I'm not kidding-- literally inches) and will do literally anything to get behind, in front of, or around you.

Maybe I'm just noticing it more since I drove back from Alabama this past week, but more and more this attitude is getting on my nerves. It extends to life in general around here, too: How could anything you're doing possibly be as important as me? Everything I'm doing is more prestigious, more expensive, and therefore matters more than you could possibly matter they seem to be saying. Not only that, but everyone's out to prove how much more important they are by trying to one-up everything someone else is doing. I'm not kidding, either, when I say that it even extends to trivial stuff like how many play-dates their dogs have had. (I shit you not, I actually overheard that conversation between two friends who ran into each other on the Metro last weekend.)

It floors me how being nice is such a lost art in this city. It always surprises the hell out of people when I thank them for holding a door or smile and say hello as I walk to the store or simply tell them to have a nice day-- I can see it on their faces when it happens. Some people here look at you like you're outright weird.

Where I grew up, these are the expected courtesies. If you forget to say thank you, that person would surely think you rude and probably tell your mother because they go to church together. Maybe that's part of the problem here: people are so disconnected from each other. In the South, people all have the common weekly occurrence of church as a social system, where they interact on some level. I can't really think of anything besides the workplace here that functions with the same universal tie. Here, we don't have that, and half the time the most connection they have is seeing other people when they walk their dogs (that's how I know most of my neighbors). That guy in the car next to them becomes just some asshole, not possibly another human being at the very least, or (perish the thought) someone you might encounter again somewhere like in the church aisle*. That has a little bit of moderating power, you know? If you're likely to see that person as someone apart from just another driver there's a much better likelihood that you'll treat them like more than an annoying piece of trash.

At any rate, I can't see it changing any time soon, but all of this swaggering, braying, dick-wagging bull is ridiculous.This rant has been brought to you by the letter T and the number five.

*I'm not saying organized religion is good, but it does have a bona fide social function in the South.


(Above cartoon by Hugh MacLeod, one of my favorite bloggers and artists. Still kicking myself for not buying one of his originals back when he started out. What was I thinking. Honestly.)