SassyBlonde

Finally, I have some real relief. I've been preparing for the concert I did tonight for months, and it's finally over.

It's not often that I get completely bound up about a performance, but this one was a little different for a few reasons. the main one is that I rarely have a chance to perform a solo or chamber piece with the composer sitting right there in front of me in the audience, and this is someone whose work I really respect for a lot of reasons. Another reason is that her daughter is a colleague of mine in the group giving the concert. How awkward would that be if I totally stunk it up, right?

There are many things I love about being a musician, but one of them is not the nervous anxiety before a big concert. I swear, sometimes I think I'm giving myself an ulcer. Sleep becomes a figment of my imagination, and when it does occur the dreams I have are vivid and really frightening. Not to mention what it does to my blood sugar numbers. By about two days before the performance my mind is desperately wishing for the moment after it's over.

Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy with the performance we gave, and I got soooooooo many compliments on my playing (and my shoes). I always know when I've really given it 100% because I have this heady "no-regrets" feeling afterward, which I'm enjoying at the moment. I think the stress was just about worth it this time.

So my Manolos and I are going to head out for a little beer, then a lot of sleep and a bit of a vacation in which I'll be playing in the dirt for a few days. Without my Manolos. Be back soon.