All right-- I did my list for my own improvement, now here's a few of my pet peeves in other people that have been bugging the hell out of me lately:
1. Lateness. No excuses here, folks. Being late sucks. My very wise husband once had a conversation about this with me while we were dating, in which he expressed the opinion that if you're late for an appointment with someone, you're basically telling that person that your time is more important than theirs (in other words, you don't value them very much as a person), and I heartily agree with this statement. It's one thing to be late now and then, but if it's habitual, I'm going to stop hanging out with you, because you obviously don't value my time very much. And don't even try to explain to me why you should be allowed to be late. It's bullshit. *This admonition does not include The Muse, lest she think that lateness to aforementioned brunches has been a sore point. If you have the courtesy as she does and I do in return, to call and say you're going to be a few minutes late, then what's a few minutes between friends? A reminder, though, that very few other people qualify for her friendship forgiveness status-- so the rest of you have been warned.
2. Cell Phone Calls. There are going to be a few that sort of fit in this category, so bear with me. If I'm spending time with you, I want to be spending time with you, not listening to one side of a cell phone call. If you're in company, it had better be life-or-death, your mother, or your-babysitter-calling-from-the-emergency-room if you answer that phone. If it's your mother, call her back later unless it's an emergency. Seriously. You have been warned.
3. Phone Messages. There's a reason my phone says leave a *brief* message, folks. Unless you have specific information that I've asked for, I'll call you back. Don't leave me a five-minute message. For that matter, don't call me and leave me six short messages in the course of a day, unless it's to update me on the progress of someone's surgery. I will call you back, if not today, the first thing tomorrow or when I have an answer to your problem. I promise. (See #3 of this post) Now don't do it. I'm warning you.
4. Multiple Phone Calls. I don't need to know every detail of your life, as it's happening. I actually have friends who will call to tell me they're thinking about doing something, then call me to tell me they're going to go do it, call me while they're doing it and again after they've done it to give me a recap. This is a normal process, when illuminating major life decisions over the course of an extended period of time (say, many days or weeks), but I know people who quite often cram this process into mere hours. The Muse and I call this the Phases of Sh*tting Process-- please don't call me every time you have to take a sh*t. Otherwise what would we have to talk about when we get together to hang out? Then you become boring and I get bored and stop hanging out with you. Warning given.
5. Sideways Questions. You know what you really want to ask me, so f'ing ask the question. None of this pseudo-sly mental jockeying-- I don't have time for that bullshit. You're not nearly as subtle as you think, and I'm quicker than you give me credit for. Ask with honesty and intestinal fortitude. If you don't know me well enough to deserve an answer I'll tell you that, and we'll be straight. If you do know me well enough, then you'll have my respect for being straightforward and an answer to boot. You know who you are, and you're on notice.
6. Name Dropping. This one's in honor of a few choice people that I work with. No one cares who you know. If you can't do your job properly, then you still suck, and a phone call to your important "friend" who couldn't pick you out of a crowd won't save your ass or your job.
This is a work in progress. As I have no ending for this piece, I will simply take a small bow.
