SassyBlonde

On the kitchen counter. On my desk. On the key rack by the door. Beneath the key rack by the door. Behind the cat perch next to the key rack by the door. In my purse. Anywhere around where my purse has ever been. In the kitchen junk drawer. In the silverware drawer. In the cabinet on top of the peanut butter jar. In the pots and pans under the stove. In the refrigerator. On the refrigerator. Behind the refrigerator. On the microwave. In the microwave. On the floor behind the microwave cart. On my desk. In my office drawer. In my clarinet bag. In my flute bag. In my saxophone case. On the piano. Behind the piano. Under the piano. Inside my bass clarinet. On the dining room table. Under the dining room table. On the china cabinet. Under the china cabinet. On the tea tray. In the tea pot. Under the sofa. Behind the sofa. In the sofa cushions. In the recliner cushions. Under the recliner. In my yarn bag. Behind the steamer trunk. Under the newspaper box. In the newspaper box. On the bathroom counter. Under the bathroom sink. Behind the toilet. On the bed. In the bed. Under the bed. Behind the bed. On the night stand. In the window seat. Behind the window seat. In the cat box. In the linen closet. In my shoes.

Seriously, they had better be in my car, or life will be terrible. So, as far as my boss knows, I couldn't start my car (a form of truth, since it isn't easy to start a car without a key), and I will be missing the performance today. F*ck.

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*UPDATE*: They were not, in fact, in my car. Sh*t. However, my sister informed me in between our gales of laughter that her intuition tells her they're not gone, just impishly hiding from me, and she knows these things. I went to the hardware store and got three copies of house and car anyway, and I'll have to get new grocery store cards. But the part I'll never live down is that The Muse knows I even looked in the cat box. ;)