The dog people* in my neighborhood are such assholes. I came driving up today and this guy was letting his dog take a huge steaming shit in my herb patch. ON MY OREGANO. As I got out of the car and walked toward him, he just smiled and said "Hello!" brightly, and continued letting the dog do its thing. I just stood there and stared at him, open-mouthed.
He took out a bag and picked up the pile, and as he did, I said, "You know, we actually were hoping to eat that plant at some point, but now..." with a look of disgust.
He looked surprised and said, "What? I picked it up."
Exasperated I said, "Just keep him out of there from now on please."
As I know from experience, the dog people around here tend to be vindictive bastards on the whole, and I could completely see this guy leading the dog over to do his business on purpose tomorrow. However, tomorrow there will be one small difference.
There will be capsacin and stinging nettle powder on the ground (Commonly used in rodent and dog repellents, these substances cause a burning sensation when applied to the skin, or say, pawpads). Poor pup better use his schnoz or he won't be walking comfortably for a couple of hours. (Not to mention that asshole squirrel will quit digging up my basil.)
Bastards.
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*Dog people: (n)(pl)
1.)Persons with an affinity for pets of the canine persuasion, many of whom value said canine above the company/comfort/civil rights of human friends, neighbors, and acquaintances.
(That being said, not ALL dog people are assholes, just most of the ones walking theirs in my neighborhood.)
